Wanker #7
Wanker #7 is the biggest wanker of all: someone stole my bike :( From the bike stands outside Beckton Asda.
Here is a poster I made: feel free to print it out and hang it where you like. Especially if you live in Brick Lane.

I’m a bit cut up about it, mainly because my bike was properly old: it was 5 years older than me, and snagged for a fiver off eBay (from a recognised seller, I hasten to add). I was attached to the bike, mainly because of its flaws. It was rusty, the saddle was cracked and the mudguards rattled whenever I cycled. The rear wheel was flat, so whoever stole it had a lot to deal with. Loads of you have offered really kind comments, and a lot of people have asked me if they can contribute to replace the old wanker-chaser. I wasn’t going to, but considering I’ve only ridden ancient step through frames, it won’t be expensive to replace. So if you do want to contribute, my paypal address is the same as my email address, or you can drop me an email. And if you live in London, keep an eye out for the biggest wanker of all who stole my beloved bike. The wanker.
Edit: The bike looks just like this, without pannier racks and has a crack in the left hand side of the seat.